Wabi–sabi (侘寂) is a concept in traditional Japanese aesthetics constituting a world view centered on the acceptance of transience and imperfection. The aesthetic is sometimes described as one of beauty that is “imperfect, impermanent, and incomplete”.
It is important for me to remember that sometimes the things we carry that are broken are not direct representations of ourselves and our relationships.
I told this to my Someone as we both looked in the Broken Basket. The Broken Basket was the basket we keep on the bed that moves to the couch when we sleep and back to the bed when we are traveling. Its constant movement is to be a reminder that the broken things in the basket need fixing, and the sooner we fix them, the sooner we can put the basket away.
But the broken thing in the basket had been broken since the time I began to wonder if we were broken, and its continued brokenness culminated on a snowy Friday morning in April in Canada. Here, a country away in strange weather, the little piggy bank shaped like a camper that my mother had given us for Christmas was still in pieces. It had been broken for almost four weeks, and was a regular topic of conversation.
My Someone had broken it, accidentally, and was intent on being the one to fix it. But somehow, picking up glue became harder and harder to remember. We joked that the little bank camper was just like our own– often in pieces but still keeping us inside.
So over coffee in the snow I began to cry and be angry that the camper was us, and that we will never take the time to fix ourselves because we cannot take the time to fix our things in the Broken Basket. And that maybe our whole life was a Broken Basket that will be endlessly tossed from the bed to the couch and back again at the start of each day. My Someone bristled. I got quiet. I left to change over our laundry down the street at the laundromat.
When I got back, my Someone was gone. I worried that he now believed we were in the Broken Basket, too.
When the door opened, my Someone was smiling.
“We are not broken,” he said, rummaging in a plastic bag, “I got the Crazy glue!”
And there, we pieced together what was left in the broken basket, some pieces missing, some of our finger sticking together, and a little white tape to cover the disparities. Just like our real camper. Just like ourselves.